Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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