I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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