Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
