she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
