I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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