my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
