i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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