He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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