Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
