Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize