Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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