apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize