it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
