If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My balls are so social today.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
