I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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