Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
