I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize