I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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