I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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