Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
