I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
