The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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