I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
