you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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