I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
