Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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