If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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