I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
