I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
