just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
