i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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