So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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