The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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