watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
