I wish I could teleport
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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