the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
