I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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