your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
