Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize