so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
