Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
