I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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