He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
