dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
