College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
birth control should be required to get into college
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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