i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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