it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
