hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
