so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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