Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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