turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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