Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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