We're facebook friends in real life
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
