Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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