they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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