so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize