Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
